I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
