I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
