come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
