His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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