in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal