My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
They have beer where we have blood.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos