i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
