my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
