I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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