i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
