your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
