I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's the barista slut.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
