Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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