omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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