This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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