i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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