No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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