I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
