Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
