Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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