i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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