So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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