ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
