Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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