I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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