i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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