Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize