Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
