hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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