We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
