Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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