my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
