just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
