her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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