Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
