Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
