I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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