Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
