I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
