If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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