Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
