If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
