i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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