I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
