so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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