Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
