just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
