Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
