he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
