I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Someone shit on the floor
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
