the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
