Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
