Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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