Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
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That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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