God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize