I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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