Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
