Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
