Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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