They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
