rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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