he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
