Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize