But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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