think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
