They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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