Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
