I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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